In a poetic approach, I attempt to convert feelings from worse to could be better. Sugar coating I believe is the appropriate term. Metaphors circulating my brain add a sweeter touch to the hell breaking loose in my mind. It works like running towards the ice cream truck in a sunny day in Texas, but at 13 it no longer does the trick. Lets be fair, ice cream always helps, doesn’t solve problems, but it helps; But how does it work when there’s no ice cream to top off with gummy bears and chocolate fudge while sprinkling rainbow sprinkles like rain in a desert? Or, after making up your mind about ice cream, the ice cream cone ends up having a hole in the bottom and now I am stuck cleaning my white dress, the white dress I just bought and I promised myself I’d be more careful around? If I get lucky enough, the hole is near the top of the cone, so I’ll just hurry up and and eat everything on top then enjoy the rest of the cone on the way.
But it doesn’t always work this way, sometimes you have to take a walk and skip the ice cream. Walk the park and watch everyone else be happy, in silence, just observe, while the laughter drowns the cries in your soul and your mind mimics the emotions and you finally crack a smile. For that, you first would have to consciously convince yourself there’s something better consciously convince yourself it is okay to pass on a little pleasure for long lasting happiness. My pleasure though, doesn’t consist of ice cream, sadly, it’s inspired by guns, knives, heart-felt and sometimes depressing music and a pretty flower crown to top it off.
The guns guide me through understanding direction, they never shoots backwards. It helps me understand control, always taking action to visually see impact. It won’t go off without you taking control, and almost instantly you will notice a difference.
Knives come in handy when my creativity dries out and allows me to cope. It’s such a vulnerable object capable of creating and destroying. While it creates, it is inevitable to stop destroying in the process whether it’s in the middle of creating something beautiful, like chopping up onions for a delicious French Onion Soup or carving yours and your lover’s initials on the tree where you had your first kiss… It gives me an opportunity to cope with change and be okay with the results. You understand, after using this tool, your project will never be the same again.
Music is a tricky bastard. You’ll love him to death but it knows so many and sometimes gets influenced instead of influencing. He doesn’t always get along with me, we might go days without speaking but I’ve learned some tricks along the way including appreciation when dealing with him. Don’t expect and don’t familiarize. If you expect, you will be let down. If you familiarize, it becomes part of your identity, its an amazing thing, but not wise if you want to keep growing. While listening to all sides of Music, I fill my head with different perspectives to help me with different levels. I’ve learned through Music, the key to healthy and happy life is balance. Appreciate it for what it is, not for who you think it should be.
& a simple flower crown reminds me how simplicity holds a huge value. The flowers decorating my crown stand on their level of consciousness and agree with who they are and what they are here for. They don’t question their purpose or belittle it, they don’t compare themselves to other flowers, they are content and they inspire. The give life to everyone who needs it. They give beauty to an otherwise bland world. The listen and only speak through seasons when it’s most necessary.
The oxymoron in the definition of these tools make it possible for me to see the humor in my life and in my actions. Everything connects and impacts through each other are made, it’s up to us to process it differently, like seeing a glass half full and not half empty. Might not have gotten that ice cream, but my white dress is still clean, the children’s laughter brings the music I needed to hear and after this walk I will write my soul out. Actions.