Shallow is the New Black

The internet world is filled with an overwhelmingly amount of beautiful people living the picture-perfect lives one can only skim through Cosmo and dream about. Models with flawlessly curvy figures, yet, slim waists, gorgeously filled pink lips, blemish-free skin, and an incredible wardrobe selection, you can’t help but wonder, how the hell are they our same age? Among these super-humans, of course, you will find a couple famous for being famous people and even artists who, for some unknown reason, all know each other, and they party and continue to be perfect together, leaving us, peasants, to drool all over their Instagram posts.

I hope you’ve gotten a hint of my passive aggression, here’s the motive:  

Although the internet has made it possible to “connect” with all our favorite artists and stay in the loop on what’s “HOT” today, it has also opened the doors to many insecurities we are forced to face every time we login to Instagram.

I recently came across an interview with Simon Sinek where he emphasizes the use of social media and how it’s affecting the lives of millennials especially in corporate jobs. His break down of the issues we face today left me in tears. He brings up different depression patterns that support the idea social media is highly addictive. Not getting likes on your posts on Instagram and being unfollowed by one of your peers has become an incredible deal of stress as social media usage grows. There is no wonder we spend so much time refreshing the page, kind of as a reassurance you are still “somebody”. It was the sudden realization of the root of all of my problems staring at me in the face in a fifteen minute video and the million dollar question: what now? From the time I discovered social media, circa 2006, with Myspace, I’ve spent a significant amount of time making my profile page a representation of the image of myself I want people to see. I’ve read and reread numerous times every caption under the photos I post wondering if I sound or look like I have my shit together and, frankly, I am tired of it.

So what’s the issue? While everyone should be in control of what they do in private or on the phone, no one should feel the need to be “perfect” based on the Photoshopped pics most famous women promote. We can all agree, famous people have a huge influence on society, most recently, politics and especially when it comes to body image. When someone so powerful posts the most insignificant selfie of themselves to provide a more “personal” touch to their page, yet feels the need to still Photoshop the pic, it is sending a message to its viewers, your natural state is not good enough (And I’m not talking no make-up on; make-up is artistic expression, your face is yours to decorate as you please, go nuts!) and it doesn’t make it any better than what the big fashion magazines promote this over editing tool.

Society has made it very clear, beauty only exists through overly edited images and amazing plastic surgeons ready to make you look like a million bucks. Based on the amount of followers these super-women have, a drastic amount of regular chicks don’t mind this awful situation at all, and in fact, mimic their behavior. Regular women being subjected to Photoshop pics shared on social media, to friends, family, and coworkers, is a sad cry for help. We obsess about imperfections and look to other sources to enhance our beauty making us almost unrecognizable (my guilty pleasure is going on Snapchat and using the filter that makes me look UN-REAL. PSH! I know you know what I’m talking about LOL).

The men in our lives are not helping the case at all. I understand most men have absolutely no clue the time and dedication it takes to slay, however, regular single men in Houston have also made it very clear they are “not settling” (yes, these are the exact words from a male friend when expressing his feelings about waiting for “the right girl”, WTF does that even mean?) with the average looking gal. They are giving up on the chance for happiness hoping for the next best thing. Can we blame them though?

We are our biggest critics and that HAS TO STOP. We are feeding to this illusion that all women should be perfect by conforming to what society says the definition of beauty is. We have to understand, if we want a committed, real and raw, can’t live without each other, there’s no one else out there like you, marry me or I’ll die relationship, we must learn to accept ourselves and with that, our flaws. Trust when I say this, confidence is the most attractive characteristic in a woman. No one compares to a gal who knows who she is, knows what she wants and moves mountains to get there, just ask any guy worth giving a try (I see you sensitive, compassionate and confident, not intimidated by my boss behavior, honk of a man!)! Finish putting that mascara on, unfollow all these good-for-nothing (I ONLY KID :P) famous for being famous super-humans only adding to your addiction and self-hate by being “perfect” and enjoy the true meaning of social media, connection. Who knows, you might become “the right girl” but for yourself.


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